The Hour of Dreams Read online

  In that moment, the first tear fell, allowing her face to relax. I watched one tear fall after another, though she didn't make a single sound. “Dawn, I hate to see you so upset. I’d like to help you.”

  Finally wiping away the wet trails, she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling of her car. “He told me he's going to college. That his lacrosse scholarship is too important to give up. And that I would be holding him back.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “Right after I told him I'm pregnant.”

  The world around us fell silent as her words swirled around my head and traveled through my body and down to my knees. I found myself looking around and focusing on items around me. Crumbs and trash stuck between her seat, sunglasses on her floorboard. Not wanting to say the wrong thing, I replayed her words in my mind.

  Dawn and Jackson were such opposites, but he practically followed her around like a puppy. It didn’t make sense.

  “Wait. He said he didn’t want to be with you because of that?”

  She whipped her head around to face me now. “No, he said he still wanted to be with me.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Right after he suggested I get rid of it.”

  My eyes traveled inadvertently to her midsection. “He told you that?”

  “Yes, Sophie. He told me that.”

  “Well, maybe he didn’t mean it.”

  “He meant it.”

  My hand covered hers. I finally understood her emotional attack. “Dawn, that’s hard news for someone to hear. Maybe he’ll change his mind after he’s had time to think about it.”

  “He’s had time, Sophie. I told him last Friday and he sat on it all week. And that’s what he told me last night. You should’ve seen him. What a coward. I was so stupid.”

  “No, you weren’t. You loved him.”

  “Yeah, well a lot of good that does me now.” The anger was returning in her voice.

  I’d known my life was not perfect, but in that moment I realized that nobody’s was. Whatever the issue, worry was everywhere, in different forms, in different places. But one thing was the same—how it makes people feel.

  “I’m sorry, Dawn. I really am.”

  “Yeah, me too. Listen, I gotta go. I don’t want to be around my dad today.”

  “Does he know?”

  “Are you kidding me? Please. He would flip. I just want to get out of here. For good.”

  “Just wait. Please. Things will be fine. Give it time.”

  “Time? Are you serious? I don’t have time. I’m seven weeks along. If I’m going to do it, I need to do it now.”

  “Wait. Do what?”

  “Look, don’t make me say it.”

  “Dawn, you’re not getting rid of it…are you?”

  “What, Sophie, do you think I’m going to raise it here? With my dad? While Jackson’s off at college, moving on? No thanks.”

  My head was spinning again. I didn’t have a clue how to be a good friend in a situation like this, but everything she was saying felt all wrong.

  “Dawn, you just broke up with Jackson for asking you to do that. Why? If you wanted to anyway?”

  “I don’t want to, Sophie!” she growled. “But I can’t do this by myself.”

  “Well, what about adoption?”

  “And see the look in my parents’ eyes when they find out? It’ll just be reckless old me again. No thanks.”

  The conversation was all happening so fast, and in a very uncomfortable location. Sure, I didn’t have a solution or experience with such a situation, but my senses were clinging to her and I didn’t want her to leave and go through it by herself.

  “I’ll help you do whatever you need. Just take it easy for now. You have time to decide. And you’re right. He was wrong. You deserve more support than that. We’ll fix it. Okay? Just go home and relax.”

  “I can’t relax.”

  “Just let me think of something. I’ll meet you later, okay?”

  It took her a few moments to answer, but she finally gave me a maybe and drove off looking more pitiful than I’d ever seen someone look.

  Chapter 3

  WORRIES

  Back inside, I told Mr. Healey that Dawn wasn’t feeling well, and I avoided him the rest of the day. Simple tasks became tedious, as thoughts of Dawn stayed on my mind. She was pregnant. I’d grown to love Dawn and her family and had considered us close. How had I not known? Although we had never talked about how serious she and Jackson were, looking back, I guessed it was obvious. But the fact that she'd been pregnant for the last seven weeks hadn’t been obvious. Or had it, and I'd just missed it?

  Thinking back, we’d worked together three days a week, and I hadn't picked up on anything unusual. Guilt started to permeate my stomach; I'd been such a poor friend. I looked at my watch, counting the minutes until the end of my shift.

  Wes and I were supposed to go out to dinner, but, not wanting to leave Dawn to handle this alone, I called him and canceled. He said he would stay late at the lab and get some work done. My worrisome self would have liked to give more thought to what he was doing there, but I was too relieved about having the chance to find Dawn without feeling bad about standing him up.

  This time, when my shift ended, the Tahoes were an unwanted addition. Danger was the last thing on my mind at that point. I just wanted to help a friend, and their presence felt invasive. I turned up the radio as if it could make them go away, and used the temporary relief to think about what to say when I got to Dawn’s.

  By the time I arrived, a light drizzle had started, so I turned on my windshield wipers and crept down her narrow street, looking for her car. Danny’s pickup truck was there, but her Honda was nowhere to be found, and she wasn’t answering her phone. Any other time, I would’ve considered it no big deal, but not tonight.

  The rain started to pound on my windshield, and the rain and I had never been best friends. The warm, dry confines of my home were calling to me, but finding Dawn felt like a necessity. The longer it took, the more guilt emerged, causing me to doubt our friendship even more. We’d been friends for more than a year now, and the only places I knew her to hang out were her house, Jackson’s, or with me and Wes when we were doubling. Other than that, I had no clue where she could be.

  The rain was not helping matters, and now I had to turn the radio off just to think. I was coming up blank, so I started thinking about what I would do if I were in her shoes.

  Of course I would be devastated if that happened to me and Wes reacted like Jackson had. There was no way I’d be convinced that he’d put his lacrosse career ahead of our baby’s life.

  It was those doubts that made me think that Dawn wouldn’t believe it either. She was really upset and crushed by his reaction, but I thought she would give him another chance to change his mind. I turned my car around and headed toward his house, which was only about ten minutes past hers.

  By the time I reached his long, winding street, the rain had lightened some, but not much. I could at least see out of my side windows, but it wasn’t easy. Dawn’s car was dark blue, which blended in with the night just perfectly, so I crept along the street at a snail’s pace, glancing out each side, trying to locate her car. Certainly, the security detail following behind were unhappy, but they would just have to deal as I kept looking.

  Sure enough, on my left, her car was parallel parked directly across the street from Jackson’s house. Just as I passed his driveway, I noticed two figures in the dark, without umbrellas, and knew immediately it was them. A sense of relief came over me, knowing they were communicating and that she was safe. I kept driving, and it wasn’t until I turned around in the distant cul-de-sac and made my second passing that I noticed her push him in his chest. He shuffled backwards and then reached for her elbow. She snatched it away and pushed him again.

  As she spun around and darted across the street, Jackson began walking back up his long driveway, shoulders slumped. By the time I pulled up beside Dawn’s c
ar, she had plopped into her seat and was hunched over the wheel. I left my Jeep right in the street and jogged around to her door.

  She jumped at my knock and then rolled down her window a few inches. “Jesus, Sophie! What are you doing here?”

  “Hey. Sorry, I went by your house to talk to you and you weren’t there. I thought I’d check here before going home. Are you okay?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew it was a dumb question. “I mean, you wanna talk?”

  “Not really.”

  Her eyes were red and puffy. I felt helpless, but I didn’t want to let her go so easily.

  “Look, I’m getting wet out here. And you're wet already. Let’s go to my house and get in some warm clothes. Spend the night. Get away from your house and we’ll talk. It might help to get away.”

  She looked at me. By then, my hair was soaking wet, framing my face in a sticky mess. Standing there, in a downpour, I shrugged my shoulders.

  “You’re nuts, you know?” she said.

  “Well?”

  “Fine. I’ll come…I definitely don’t want to go home, that’s for sure.”

  I jogged back around to my car, feeling a little victorious, and gave a little wave to the Tahoes.

  She followed me to my house, and Wes was still not home, which was fine. It allowed us some privacy to get Dawn to the spare room, which I’m sure she appreciated. I gave her clean towels and a fresh pair of sweats, and convinced her to take a warm shower, knowing the last thing she needed was to get sick.

  While she was settling in, I thought about a warm shower myself. With the rain, the temperature had dropped and I had started to shiver. Sweats sounded good to me too, so I scooped some up and made my way to my own shower.

  The hot water relaxed every muscle in my body, helping me to think more clearly. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting the water soak through my hair and run down my back.

  Feeling calm, I ran my palms over my face to clear the water trails, but a slippery sensation caused me to open my eyes. I pulled my hand away from my face and saw that, sure enough, it was another nosebleed. Dang. Just this once, it would have been nice not to have to think about myself. Irritated, I rinsed my hand and pressed a washcloth to my nose.

  Standing there with a bloody cloth pressed against my nose, it was impossible not to think of my own problems. Why now? Why tonight? How was I supposed to help someone else fix their life when I couldn’t fix my own? Thoughts like that made me realize something unimaginably important.

  That was exactly it. My future might be nonexistent. For whatever reason, it might not be in nature’s plan, and that’s something I’d have to face and deal with every single day. But Dawn shouldn’t have to worry about her baby’s life. Not when it could be saved. Closing my eyes, I resolved myself to do whatever possible to help the life inside of her. Even if I had no control over mine.

  “Hey, you.”

  I snapped my eyes open to see Wes’ silhouette through the glass shower doors.

  “Hey. You scared me,” I said, turning toward the water to rinse out the bloody washcloth.

  “Sorry,” he said, cracking the shower door open. He leaned in for a quick kiss, which caused his shirt to get splashed, before closing the door. “Why are you showering so early?”

  “I got wet in the rain while talking with Dawn. I figured I’d get it over with before putting on dry clothes.”

  “Oh…can I come in?”

  “Sure,” I answered, feeling a little panicked.

  In one motion, he pulled his shirt over his head, kicked off his shoes and bottoms, and slid in with me. “Is that who’s in the other shower?”

  “Yes.” I laughed, nervously realizing that he might find that odd. “She got soaked too.”

  He smiled, dipping his broad shoulders in the second showerhead before titling his head back under the water.

  “So is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, why do you ask?”

  “You seem a little on edge.”

  I held the washcloth behind my back, doing some final squeezes. “What’s that smell?” he asked, looking around.

  “What smell?”

  “Blood,” he answered, still looking. This time his gaze traveled to the ceiling and then to the floor. “Wait a minute, what’s in your hand?”

  “Nothing. Just my washcloth.”

  He leaned in closer, inspecting me. “Is that blood on your face?”

  Putting his hands on my cheeks, he tilted my head back. “Sophie, your nose is bleeding.”

  I shrugged it off as no big deal, and he might have believed me if I hadn’t been hiding the evidence of it behind my back.

  “How bad was it? Let me see.” He pulled the washcloth from my hands. Unfortunately for me, it had been bright white, and now the whole thing was splotched with pink stains.

  “Whoa,” he said. He wrung it out and dabbed my nose again, pulling it back to reveal a few more fresh drops.

  “It’s fine,” I said, taking the cloth.

  “It’s not fine.”

  “Yes, it is. I was running around in the cold rain with Dawn, and I think I just jostled my sinuses. It’s fine. I used to get them all the time,” I lied, feeling instantly horrible about it.

  “Sophie, I’ve never seen you get one of these before. I’m going to call Dr. Carter.”

  “No! Please just forget it. It’s fine, really. I don’t get them very often—”

  He shifted his weight. “What’s very often?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What’s very often?” he repeated, leaning closer.

  “I don’t know. Only a few times.”

  “A few? When? How long ago?”

  “Um…I don’t know. Maybe once a month?”

  He opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it, staring into my eyes silently. He studied me for a moment longer, his jaws tensed. “I’m calling Dr. Carter,” he said flatly, stepping out of the shower.

  Dang it, I thought. This was not going to go well. I finished rinsing my hair, shut the water off, and slipped out behind him. I had just started to dry off when he left the bathroom, wearing only a towel and a frown.

  This really wasn’t going to go well.

  I quickly slid into sweats to follow him, but hesitated. I knew Wes well enough to know there was no talking to him during a worry-fest. He needed to settle down, so I brushed out my hair and took my time.

  When I came out, he was sitting on the bed, still in his towel, talking on the phone.

  “I don’t know. She’s not being specific.” He cast me an evil glare before turning his attention back to the phone. “It doesn’t really matter at this point. I just want you to take a look at her. Okay. That should work. Thanks. See you then.” He hung up and went over to his closet without stealing a second glance at me.

  I was contemplating a good defense for my secretiveness, but then, watching him dress in complete silence, I became angry.

  “That’s not fair.” I stated—or, more so, pouted.

  “Really?” he said, putting on his last sock without glancing up.

  “Really,” I repeated, approaching him firmly. He smelled amazing, and his Henley was fitted in a way that made my knees wobble. I didn’t want to fight with him. He was the one person who could hold me and make me feel safe. But there we were, arguing, so I caved. “Okay. I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight. Please.”

  He balanced his weight and crossed his arms. “How could you keep something like that from me? With everything we’re trying to do here. It’s like you’re working against me.”

  “I’m not working against you.”

  “Yes, you are. If you know you’re having side effects and you keep that from me, then you are working against me. How can I help you like that?”

  The distance between us felt cold, and, although I hadn’t told him for this very reason, he was right. I stepped close to him in submission, leaving only an inch between us. He stood still for a moment, but then accepted my in
vitation and pulled me in for a much-needed hug.

  “You’ve already helped me,” I whispered, and with that he squeezed me harder. “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “Just please don’t keep anything else from me.”

  “Okay,” I murmured.

  We hugged for a few moments before he made me agree to see Dr. Carter the next day, and then I told him for the first time why Dawn was upset. The expression on his face was similar to when he first noticed my nosebleed.

  “Are you serious?”

  “I’m serious.”

  By then we’d let go of each other and used the wall next to us for support. I leaned in close. “Wes, I think I want to tell her about us?”

  His head snapped back. “You what?”

  “You heard me.”

  He crossed his arms again. “I’m sorry, I thought you just said you were personally sabotaging your own recovery by hiding a side effect from me, and that now you want to tell our secret to one of the biggest gossipers on this side of the Mississippi?”

  “Wes.” I dropped my shoulders. “I’m not trying to sabotage anything. That’s not fair. And I just want to help. Jackson turned his back on her. He said that he wants her to get rid of it because he won’t be able to go to college and play lacrosse. Seriously.”

  A glimmer of sympathy touched Wes’ eyes. “He said that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well maybe he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Give him time to think about it.”

  “She did. She’s seven weeks along and he’s known for a while. They had another falling out about it tonight, and she’s planning to get rid of it, because she’s alone and scared.”

  He shook his head slowly. “And how is telling her our secret going to help?”

  “Because, Wes, I want her to know what it really feels like to worry about not having a future. I don’t want that baby to miss out on a life because her mother doesn’t really understand what a gift it is.”